Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I can count

I see through liars

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

How is it, in the USA, a country with 334 million people, the choice of President comes down to two aged men, one of whom is a liar as well as a criminal, one who appears to be on his way to dementia. Surely a democratic country can put up better?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Do leftists understand why young men are becoming more right-wing?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Do you know of a female masseuse that does door-to-door service in Bangalore?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I actually pay taxes

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Is it common for Americans to feel "trapped" due to the size and distance of their country from other countries/continents? Is this feeling an exaggeration or a reality?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What was the worst spanking you got growing up?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

How much stronger is an average man than an average woman?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Do married men know when their wives are having affairs?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What are some of your favorite hip hop lyrics?

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why does Filipino culture dictate that parents should be treated as gods?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why should the law care about what I do behind closed doors?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why is my coworker suddenly being so mean towards then being nice like nothing happened? She is nice with everyone but me.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup